AND YEAH I BROKE UP ONCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND JUST BECAUSE I WAS SO MEAN AND IGNORING HIM ALL THE WEEK.. 
1. PMS is real. It's so, so, so real. And cramps are real. So, so, so real. Basically, all the stuff women complain about in movies and a Cathy cartoon are real, so please don't question it because it'll just result in you never getting laid again or living to see tomorrow.
2. Yes, we really do crave chocolate. It's biological, and it can't and shouldn't be messed with. Just dump a bag of candy bars on our face and leave us alone for a week. Everything is gonna be OK.
3. You can help. Like, seriously, just ask us what we need and then get it for us. Maybe it'll be purchasing a cake from our favorite bakery that just happens to be the next county over, or maybe it'll be massaging our backs until we gratefully pass out. Whatever it is, if you do it, we will love you forever, ever.
4. Periods are expensive! A large percentage of the population bleeds out of their genitals every month and still, women must pay for tampons. Please explain this to me, government/science.
5. Just because we cry doesn't mean we're "moody." Very real shit is happening with our bodies and minds and so the best thing you can do is: (1) Just listen while we complain; and (2) ply us with chocolate. Also, maybe a hug or two if we're not feeling too bloated or rage-y.
6. Yes, commercials will make us cry. Especially ones involving long-distance parenting or old people doing anything. IT'S ALL SO CUTE-SAD.
7. Just because we might be a little cranky doesn't mean we're babies. Women still get mad shit done on their periods; take for example Kiran Gahndi, who ran the London Marathon while free-bleeding. I'm pretty sure if a man did this, he'd automatically become prime minister.
8. Sometimes we forget our period is coming and we bleed all over everything. No lie, a woman has probably accidentally free-bled all over wherever you're sitting right now. Thank goodness for plastic seats and toilet paper, am I right, ladies?!
9. Sometimes our underwear gets bloody but we just put in a new tampon because we don't want to ruin another pair. This is a secret shame that all us women share. What? Bloody drawers never killed anyone! (But spot cleaning yet another pair of panties has!)
10. We have to plan outfits around our periods. I haven't worn anything white mid-month since I was 14.
11. Controlling food consumption on the days leading up to our period is impossible.Like, we just need to eat everything and that must be accepted. There should be special government food stamps for women who are PMSing that are good for chocolate, chips, French fries, and ice cream.
12. Sitting out on pool parties is a legit bummer. I mean, women with ~light flows~ can maybe rock that bikini with a tampon but those of us who bleed buckets have to stay on the sidelines. You should cry for us! It's sad! Pool parties rule!
13. Even though periods suck, being a woman rules. I can grow life in my stomach and birth it out my vagina. I AM MAGIC.
14. A guy can't blame my period for anything but I can use it for everything. That's in the Constitution. Look it up.
15. There is a difference between Advil, Tylenol, Midol, etc. We all have our preferences and so when we scream, "ADVIL!!!" and you bring us Excedrin Migraine, we will lose it. You've been warned.
16. Bloating is for real. There are certain things we can't wear when Aunt Flow comes to down because that B always bring a few pounds of water weight with her.
17. We're either really horny or DON'T FUCKING TOUCH US. I don't know how to explain that one but maybe someone who graduated with a degree in women's studies can??
18. We need more naps. Periods make you tired and the only thing that can cure that tired is falling asleep on the couch while crying along to YouTube videos of baby pandas farting. THEY'RE SO PRECIOUS AND LIFE IS A MIRACLE.
19. Just tell us we're beautiful and give us candy. And you'll be golden. Until next month, that is. *Laughs like a Disney villain and then falls asleep in a pool of my own chocolate drool.*
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